A few examples:
- Leaving your car window open, as it is pouring down rain outside.
- Remembering that you forgot to turn the dryer on, as you board a plane to leave the country for a month long vacation.
- Locking the keys in the car, when the spare set is over an hour away.
Well, unfortunately, I am all too familiar with the "brick wall" feeling. Most of the time I get caught up in my hurried, fast pace life and I make the mistake of unconsciously going through the motions. Sort of like the times you drive somewhere, and once you get there you don't recall most of the trip, which is pretty scary. I have to admit that at times I am just too embarrassed to call anyone to ask for help to get out of the situation that I got myself into. I probably shouldn't tell this story, but if it helps anyone else today feel better about themselves than I am all for it...
About 2 years ago, I was driving to work when I realized my car was low on fuel. So I stop at a nearby Kroger, right off of Beltway 8, thinking I have barely made it, with little if any gas left in the tank. I reach for my purse, shuffle around inside looking for my wallet, but I can't seem to find it. Oh no! Did I leave it at home? Here I am 40 miles away from our house with no gas and no wallet. So I muster up the courage to call Chris, hoping he is still at home and hasn't left for his 45 minute commute. Thank goodness he was home, but he could not find my wallet anywhere. I was panicked. When did I last have it? Hmm... Oh, I remember! I bought groceries at HEB last night, so it must be in my purse or my car. Checked everything again for the 5th time. Still no wallet. 20 minutes have passed and I am starting to get worried about being late to work. Chris tells me to start driving to work and he will bring me a gas can. So here I am about to have a heart attack, back on Beltway 8 going, can you believe it, 30 mph. Yep, people are passing me and staring me down like I am a lunatic. 20 minutes later I pull into my office's parking lot. In total shock, I turn off my car, take a deep breath and head into work. About an hour later Chris shows up at my office, completely out of the way, a good 45 minute detour from his office with a gas can and my wallet. Here's the catch. Chris decided to stop in at HEB and just ask if they happened to have a wallet. Yep. I had left the wallet in the cart in the parking lot of HEB and someone had turned it into the store. Nothing was missing. Man, that wall left a pretty big, nasty bruise.
A few weeks ago I had a person walk up to me in a book store, as I am reading the back cover of a biblically based book, she asks me if I consider myself "A woman of faith." I said, "Yes, of course." And she said, "Really, in what ways?" She caught me off guard. I asked, "Well, what do you mean?" And she says, "What ways do you trust in God completely, handing it all over to him and not controlling the different elements for yourself?" Man... I definitely trust him, but did I have to give specifics? I thought about it the rest of the day and even the areas of my life that I came up with, I realized my hand is still in control. I am still hands on, weary of what the outcome might be if I completely let go. The last thing the woman said to me before she continued her shopping was, "How can you call yourself a woman of faith if you are not living by faith?" Another bruise, except this one was going to leave a permanent scar. Not only did I not see this brick wall, but it fell down on top of me after I ran smack into it.
My challenge has been the realization that I cannot figure things out on my own, plan my future, or understand why certain things have happened to me. Those are the areas of my life I am convinced I need to hang onto as a crutch, but God tells me I must trust in him for comfort and let go of them.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding". Proverbs 3:5
"For we walk by faith, not by sight". 2 Corinthians 5:7
What is the crutch in your life right now that you know you need, but God is telling you that you don't? Don't let the brick wall hit you before you see it coming.
No comments:
Post a Comment