A Whole New Perspective: May 2011

It is crazy to think we now have a one month old. It is even crazier that I have had absolutely no time to sit down and write about the last month. And while I still do not have time, I thought I REALLY needed to make time and write a quick synopsis of Mason's birth and how the last 4 weeks have gone.

First of all, we are incredibly blessed to have a healthy, happy, and growing baby boy! Other than an eye infection we have had literally no other complications or concerns. Thank God for that. I cannot imagine having the stress of a newborn, nursing, and all that entails in addition to an unhealthy or inconsolable baby. As of today, at 4 weeks old, Mason has gained almost 2 pounds from his birth weight! Unbelievable, I know. He has also grown at least 2 inches from head to toe, but I haven't measured him since his last doctor appointment, so it could be more. But let's get back to how the birth day went.

Since I had retained a tremendous amount of water and had a slightly elevated blood pressure, my doctor decided to induce me 1 week early. We went into the hospital Wednesday night (April 6th) to start the Cervidil which started my contractions around 10:00 p.m. Even after taking a sleeping pill, which my doctor highly recommended, I did not sleep that night. The contractions at this point just felt like menstrual cramps, but the anticipation kept my brain going 90 miles an hour. Around 7:00 a.m. the nurse came in to check me, still not dilated at all, and hooked me up to the pitocin for stronger and more "productive" contractions. At 9:00 a.m. my doctor dropped by to check on me, still not dilated, so she went ahead and broke my water, which I have to say on a scale of 1 to 10 (apparently because I was not dilated at all and baby was so low and had zero pain meds in yet), this was probably a 10 on the pain scale. Contractions gradually got closer and stronger, and by 2:00 p.m. they were 20-30 seconds apart and off the charts. I decided at this point that I wanted the epidural, regardless of how much I had progressed, I was in too much pain. Once I had the epidural I felt like I could actually go to sleep, and I wanted to! The pain was gone, and I couldn't even tell when I was having contractions.

Literally right after the epidural had kicked in, my doctor dropped in again. This time she said my cervix had not dilated and she knew why- my cervix had a lot of scar tissue and would not open up. She said the baby's heart rate was dropping and she was concerned with the strong contractions and my cervix not cooperating, that the baby may have complications if we continue to labor and put stress on him. So she decided at this point (3:30 p.m.) that we were headed to the O.R. for a c-section. My eyes immediately swelled up with tears. Chris knew this was the one thing I wanted so badly to avoid, so he asked the doctor if this was up for discussion. She said absolutely not. Her number one concern was delivering a healthy baby. I knew she was right, but at this point I was so overwhelmed, hormonal, and emotional that the flood gates opened and I could not stop crying.

Within minutes there was a swarm of people in the room, people moving me to a different bed and Chris and my mom gathering all of our belongings since we would be moved to a new room for recovery. Once I was in the O.R. they gave me some different drugs and started "testing" my senses to make sure the drugs had adequately numbed me. I asked where Chris was several times and they said he would not be allowed in until right before we were to begin. I was still crying... Once Chris was let in the room, the rest of very quick. All that I felt was some minor tugging and finally heard Mason crying. So we were both crying, and I wanted soooo badly to see him. It felt like an eternity while they cleaned him up and stitched me up. Then the nurse tells me they will be taking Mason to the nursery for 3 hours where he will be tested, etc. My crying turned to sobbing. I still had not seen or touched my son and they were about to take him for 3 hours. What happened to getting to hold your baby? What about nursing after birth? My doctor caught on to what was happening so she brought Mason to me and let me say hi and kiss him. Of course I am still crying. They wheeled me to recovery and Chris brought Mason to the waiting room to meet our family and friends and then took him to the nursery so he could be checked out from head to toe. This had to be the strangest moment for me. Of the entire experience this is the one quiet moment where I was literally alone, numb, with eyes swollen shut from crying and no nurses or doctors surrounding me. And all I could think was, I want to hold my son! And so the crying continued.

Then suddenly it was like God heard my cry. A nurse came in with a cordless phone and said I had a phone call. The nursery was on the phone and wanted to let me know they were going to bring Mason back to me so that I could hold him and nurse him, but then he would be brought back to the nursery where he would remain for 3 hours. I couldn't believe it. This was completely against the hospital's policy. Had I made them feel bad with all of my crying? Well the crying didn't stop there. Once I was holding Mason in my arm's, tears of joy were streaming down my face. What a perfect miracle! 10 fingers, 10 toes, and his little eyes were wide open just staring into mine. I was in awe. I was in love. And I cannot imagine having missed out on that brief 10 minutes that I got to spend with him.

The next 3 days at the hospital were tough. Recovery from a c-section is not fun. I could go into details, but if you reallly want to know you can just google it. Not fun.

Once we were home, and a little bit in shock since there were no nurses there to take care of me or Mason, my mom was a tremendous help. Little by little, day by day, my recovery got better and better and my milk came in the day we got back from the hospital, and so the real fun began. Nursing is a whole 'nother post people! There is way too much to be said about this so I will have to postpone that for later, but it will suffice to say that I have had no problems providing food for our son, hence the 2 pounds he has gained in the last 2 weeks.

Life as a mom is amazing. I still look at him every second in awe of what God created and how perfectly he created him. And at the same time God has found a way to humble me and every other new parent out there. There is nothing harder that I have endured in my life so far than taking care of a child, and I thank God every single day for giving me this challenge in my life.

Finally, here are some much anticipated pictures, although most of you have probably already seen a few of them on Facebook, most of these are exclusive, so enjoy!

The big day! Wow, look at that swelling.