Week 8, what happened?

{Almost caught up}

So remember those mild symptoms I briefly mentioned before. Week 8 starts, and they are all gone. Yep. And in their place a new raging set of symptoms that the books could never prepare you for.

I don't know what happened. One day I was fine. Tired, but fine. Going to the restroom a lot, but fine. Having a hard time sleeping, but still really fine. Then one day I woke up and felt the complete opposite of fine.

If you have ever had a wine hangover, it might come somewhat close to this feeling. The room is spinning, my stomach is way too uneasy to imagine eating anything, but the hunger pain is far worse, so the careful selection of food that enters your mouth {preferably having no scent at all} can easily be regretted once you have swallowed it. I fear the worst is yet to come, so I am trying to stay positive. I have not visited the porcelain goddess, not even for a scare, to feel better. I think that means I have a lot to be grateful for. And oddly enough, I cannot seem to stay warm. We spent a weekend at the lake in 100+ degree temperatures and, believe it or not, I was actually cold. Most definitely my weirdest symptom.

So that was the beginning of week 8. Only 32 left. Hmmm. Maybe too early to count down, that is intimidating! Well thanks to some good friends, I have the comfort of knowing this shouldn't last long. At least I am not spending my days at work in the bathroom, which might be hard to explain at this point since no one has a clue what is going on inside of me! I am trying to get past that scary first trimester before telling anyone at work. It just feels like the right thing to do. I do, of course, plan on going back to work. Everyone is different, and every situation is different, but for me, and at this given moment in our lives, going back to work is the right thing for our family and my sanity. And I know, without a doubt, that could change because life is not even a smidgen of predictable, but I am taking one day at a time right now.

Anybody have any advice for that dreaded day when I spread the news? Ugh, and I do mean dreaded. It isn't going to be as easy as someone just filling in for me. Which reminds me. I woke up this morning at 4:00 to pee {nothing unusual there} and randomly started thinking about this. It occurred to me that there are 3 things that will probably really stress me out during this pregnancy {and if I am admitting that this early I should be worried that there are certainly more items that will inevitably be added to this list later}. The first of course is the complicated struggle of balancing work with motherhood. Many women before me have done it. Many women after me will do it again. But again, everyone is different, so finding "the right" balance for myself will be a little tough at first. The second may seem just plain dumb to those of you who can't relate, but merging 2 things that I love and making them love each other- hoping they love each other- and not forcing me to choose between my first born and my first child {duh I would choose my first born}. Yes I am talking about our dog, Dusty. I cannot help it. I love that little guy. My fear, an obvious one, is that Dusty won't respond well to a new family member who will, of course, get a WHOLE LOT more attention than he does. And last, but certainly not least, my total and utter lack of control over anything going on in my body for the next 7 months! I cannot guarantee the safety, health, and ultimate delivery of our child, and that scares the bejeezus out of me. Really, not having control in any area of my life frightens me, but this is the ultimate unknown situation for me. Can you tell I am a little bit of a Type A personality? Just a tad.

So what do you think about at 4 a.m.? Hopefully you are in deep slumber, sawing away at those logs.