The Bandwagon is Full

Another great year of CHLB (Church has left the Building) was completed on Sunday. After 3 months of preparation and last minute unexpected changes, I am in awe of my husband's leadership skills and compassionate heart. Chris led the project and ultimately coordinated all of the details from the very beginning. This year we spent 3 hours at the Krause treatment facility in Katy with children ages 11-18. These children have come to the center from various backgrounds, including drug addiction, abusive homes, prostitution, and gangs. Unfortunately, the center only allowed us to visit with the group of kids that they considered the most socially capable and furthest along in the treatment process. Of the 65 kids that live in the facility we visited with 15 of the girls. Each girl decorated their own throw pillow with fabric markers, which they got to keep, and decorated their own sugar cookies with colorful icing.

At the end of our day, as we waited to gather and dismiss, a few families came to visit some of the children in the lobby. Although I did not personally get to know any of the children very well in the short period of time that we spent with them, I felt an overwhelming sense of pain and fear for the children. The fact is this small group of kids is a very small fraction of the children in this world with these backgrounds and only these kids are fortunate enough to get a second chance at life. I cannot even fathom how many children are put into prostitution by their parents, or given drugs from their friends, or even the ones that drop out of school and do not have a role model there to tell them it is not acceptable. The innocence of the children of this world is sadly lost because the parents are not fit to teach them right from wrong.

A few of us met for lunch afterwards and a friend ask us if we are planning to have kids soon. My response was a definite no. After an emotional morning, I couldn't help but feel that I was not ready to have kids. Look at what happens to children when their parents are not ready to be parents, not fit to be parents, or not selfless enough to be parents. How am I suppose to raise a child at the age of 25 when I am still trying to understand life and God's plan for me? In the words of Oprah, "Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility."

I am dwelling in that privilege at the moment, but also knowing that Jesus said, "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you." Matt 17:20

The one thing I have learned from friends and family is to never make a decision based on emotions and don't jump on a bandwagon especially when it is full. With that being said, the decision to have or not to have kids ultimately lies beyond my control, and I will reserve my emotions either way.